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WEthrive.live

Ban burnout. Build community. Boost business.

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Squirrel!

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Today I was walking in the woods, and a squirrel shimmied up a tree right in front of me. If you follow me on Insta, you know I spend a lot of time in the woods. I’m basically Snow White at this point. I stopped and said my hellos in my squirrel voice. As she darted up the tree, I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by how this animal could climb straight up, hanging on to that tree with just those tiny little squirrel feet.

It was fascinating and miraculous and got me thinking about what a grand skill this is for the squirrel. And yet, animals don’t possess the gift of thought; they’re into the business of simply responding and surviving. Here we are as humans, also with miraculous capabilities AND the gift of reflection, yet we don’t spend much time, if any, thinking about the great capabilities we use each day.


Have we become too much like the squirrel? Are we so busy shimmying up the tree each day, gathering all of our nuts, we forget to use the power of reflection to appreciate the sun, the tree, and our ability to navigate the intricacies of the day?

What if you took a minute tonight before you closed your eyes and jot down some gratitude for your tree-shimmying skills, whatever they might be?

She First Told Me No.

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As I look back, it seems crazy that in Season 1, I asked people to trust me with a 7 month experience. But I was so sure, so passionate, and so convinced it would work. When Kelly first told me no, I went back and said, “I think you should do this.” Thankfully, she did.

As I read this testimony from Kelly I am so proud of her and her journey. The Rise & Thrive experience continues to be transformational. I am honored to come alongside these women and share life with them.

From Kelly –

Season 1: Although I hesitantly agreed to participate in Season 1 (because who has 7 months to dedicate to a group you know nothing about) after the round table introductions on day 1, I realized this was going to be an extremely raw personal journey for me.  Yes, it’s a business platform but I was personally “stuck”.  

I had zeroed in on the growth of my business to the degree that my life solely consisted of work and caregiving/support for a family member.  I was in the trenches, knee-deep in mud, and needed help raising myself up, washing off the residue (intentionally leaving some residue as a reminder of the sacrifices).  The Rise&Thrive coaches, the very personal conversations, workshops, and formulating of my “story” forced me to take time to access myself.

  • Overall
    • I committed to simply focusing on my needs first (first ish)
    • Learned to recognize the lil “b” that enters the headspace at times.
    • Committed to not allowing the times in the trenches to wreck my physical health
  • While all these were very personal for me, they absolutely made me a better business owner and prepared me for what followed.
    • 3 months after completing R&T, I married a man I met 30 year ago.  
    • 2 year after completing R&T my business hit a goal and made the Inc5000 list!
    • Currently I am studying for my pilots license. Why?  Why stop experiencing life?!

Two Magical Words for Leaders

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There’s ALOT of leadership advice out there. It’s exhausting. I’ve spent hours reading books, attending classes, working for a leadership development company, and wanting to know leadership and be a great leader.

And too often, the sheer amount of info and knowledge keeps us stuck because changing our behavior takes intention. When I created my company, I wanted my message to be simple and human.

I looked over my success as a leader and the achievements of those I coached and consulted and asked, repeatedly, what was the lowest common denominator for each win.

Clarity and Context are the two words with the most meaning and impact I have found for leadership.

  1. Clarity

Be clear, paint a picture, tell a story, give the metrics, whatever you need to do to make the project, the goal, or decision clear. Envision you and the team or the employee standing side by side looking at a whiteboard, and you both are looking at the same information; you have shared clarity. If you asked them to turn to someone else and give them the info, it is the same as the info you are looking at together.

  • 2. Context

The human connection.

Who is it for? Who does it impact? What is the human impact and the human consequence?

Why does it matter? To you, to them?

Once people know the what and the why, the how gets much clearer.

Leadership is a conversation, not a presentation or an announcement.

If you want real engagement, build your company as a community where people are safe to ask, challenge, and want more Clarity and Context. Their questions and concerns are an opportunity for you to dig deeper to gain more depth and understanding. Be open; their questions might just change your mind. How beautiful to recognize flaws before they go out into the world to struggle and possibly fail.

PS, this approach works for parenting too.

Try it, and let me know how it goes.

Stress is Selfish

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This was the title of my keynote last month for the very first TrueU Women’s Conference. I am passionate about this topic because so many women feel when they take care of themselves, they are selfish. 

It’s the exact opposite.

Think for a moment about you when you’re overly stressed. What kind of leader are you? What kind of spouse are you? What kind of parent are you? 

Last month I logged onto a call with a new client. She apologized for moving our original appointment time. She explained she was at the hospital because her mom had a heart attack. Her mom’s heart attack wasn’t from blocked arteries; it was from stress. 

You’re not doing anyone any favors by not taking care of yourself. Those you love the most will need to stop and take care of you when it finally falls apart. 

The very best thing we can do for those we love is investing in being healed, whole, thriving and confident. I also know that fear of a heart attack isn’t a great motivator to change. 

If you want to change your behavior, you’ll need a vision of what you want your life to be, a beautiful, loving, and thriving story. And, you’ll need support from others on the journey with you. According to a Fast Company article called Change or Die, these are the catalysts for real and lasting change. 

This is why Rise & Thrive exists: to write your own story of thriving and give you a community of badass women to go on that journey with you. Are you ready for the best 7 months of your life? We’ve got three spots left. Is one of them for you? I hope so.

THE RISE …

From searching for the answers to asking yourself the right questions to know what’s best for you, personally and professionally.

From trying to please and fix everyone and everything to standing confidently in your unique gifts and talents, ready to serve.

From trying to live by a list of ‘rules’ and societal expectations to writing your own story.

& THRIVE

From a striving battle trying to control everyone and everything to confidently thriving.

Did you know the definition of strive is battle and conflict? We’re moving out of the fight into peace, prosperity, and purpose.  

From burnout to badass.

More Freedom, Less Burden

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I have a group of badass women participating in “Your Best Summer Ever”; an experience focused on finding your freedom.

This month we are exploring how burdens weigh us down and keep us from being our best selves. We’re looking at the things and people that keep us from exploring our wants, needs, and desires and what could happen if we release them to find more freedom to enjoy, laugh, and play.

I thought I’d share one of the exercises with you.

Picture yourself wearing a huge backpack. Inside are stones representing the things you’ve picked up along your life’s journey. Some are essential to your journey as you’ve climbed the highs and lows of your life and career. Some are not. Some are making your load heavy; burdens.

Take a look at the things you are carrying. What can you take out and lay down to lighten your load?

Who is weighing you down? This can feel harsh to our “loving and kind, wanting to help people” hearts. How about some new perspective? What if releasing these people from your life gives you more energy and love for those that are your people?

Some people you don’t need to let go, but you do need to let them grow.

Sometimes our love and good intentions for those we love and lead unintentionally stunt their growth and ours. We care so much that we don’t want them to hurt, fail or struggle. Take a moment and remind yourself how much you’ve grown from your struggles. Would you be the person you are today without a skinned knee, a broken heart, or a termination?

Have you learned more from advice or from the experiences of figuring things out, falling down or failing?

Letting others live and learn from their struggles isn’t abandonment; it’s saying, “I trust you. And I’ll be here for you, cheering for you, first aid kit on hand, your biggest cheerleader and advocate” Let the burden of controlling and being fully responsible go. Channel that energy into a joyful, prayerful advocate of their unique story.

What burdens can you outsource?

Housecleaning, laundry, email, grocery delivery, meal kits, there are many resources available today to free your head, heart, and hands. There are zero rewards for ‘doing it all’. But there are considerable rewards in freeing space in your heart, mind, and hands. Use that freedom to laugh, play and connect.

Five Humans-Three Hours; an Airport Story

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I wrapped up a keynote speech for 200 badass women and headed to the airport to wait for my evening flight. With lots of time on my hands, I walked up and down searching for food and a friendly-looking crowd to belly up to the bar beside.

I wasn’t coming up with much so I found a spot with big windows, plenty of seating and decided natural light and a book would be an acceptable way to spend a Friday night in DC.

A nice man with kind eyes sat near me and quietly sipped his martini. With a safe exchange of smiles and good vibes he asked if I could watch his stuff while he made a trip to the restroom. Happy to.

Then a couple looking for seats came along and I happily moved over to make room. They were grateful and went about chatting about their delayed trip to Norway. That made me smile, I love traveling and they seemed so excited. Turns out it was their first air travel together. Awe. I love a good love story.

All of a sudden we’re all in a rich discussion about travel and life. Turns out they’re all on a delayed flight to Munich. Another man says, “Hey I’m on that flight too” so he joins the conversation.

We couldn’t have been more different, each of our lives lived in various parts of the world; our stories as diverse as the airport crowd. And yet, we each had rich discussions about work, education, ways to change the world, crazy bosses, therapy, and the ways of family and friends. Even our drink choices were vastly different.

And yet, there was interest and genuine curiosity about each other and our vastly different experiences and opinions. We were each being our genuine selves and having the most fun just being interested in our differences. We shared ridiculous stories about our lives and asked each other opinions on real issues of education and career.

A non-traditional engineer, a young woman leaving her job to use her entrepreneurial education as a nanny in a role she loves, the lawyer turned cryptocurrency director, the non-profit leader with a rich use of air quotes, and the best ex-boss story ever and me. Life and work can be like this; enjoyable, interesting, and educational with the most diverse group of humans. Open mind, open heart, open hands. Hey, what do you think about? Would you watch my things? Let me tell you this story. These are not hard things, they are the simple things; love, respect, and curiosity.

I woke up thinking about them. Wondering if that wonderful couple will marry someday and how much they are enjoying Norway. Wondering how absolutely fun the big Greek wedding will be and wanting to see pictures of the infinity pool. And will he go back to work for the symphony? He really lights up when he talks about it. I’ll probably never know, but I wish them all well in their journeys and am grateful that a three-hour layover was a highlight of my trip. I really wish I would have taken a cheesy airport bar selfie pic to put with this post. This is the real DE & I, it’s not a program or a checklist, it’s a story.